March 11, 2016

Spring break is finally here and it feels like just the break I need to think about this past year. It's almost over and I realize that as I enroll for my senior year and start to review for state tests. It's been a rocky one, one that wasn't all smiles and cheers, but it was a year that has taught me so much and that I have matured from a lot. I've learned that you can't let other people's anger or sadness become your own, that happiness is not just emotion, it's often a daily choice, and that no one can tell you how to grieve. Just because the person that you love is upset, that shouldn't bring down your own happiness, and they shouldn't want it to. You can be sympathetic without also feeling exactly as they do. Sometimes you wake up in the morning and the absolute last thing you want to do is go to work or school and face everyone and smile, because if you don't you'll get a barrage of questions asking what's going on, but as my mother has always told me "Fake it till you make it." Being sad eventually becomes exhausting and it seems so much easier to smile, so do it. Decide that you're done being unhappy and let the relief come. Throughout this year I have handled things differently than I might have before, and in ways that I might have judged or made fun of previously, but now I understand why those people did that and why I did it myself. Just because someone disagrees with how you're moving on, doesn't mean that they have the right to tell you that. They don't know what is going to make you feel better. In this upcoming year I want to continue to mature and become someone that I am proud to be, and to never let anyone else's unhappiness make mine any less special.