February 26, 2016

I turned away from the vibrant coral beneath me and the school of fish to my right when I felt the water rush around me and saw hundreds of little tiny fish go that way. I turn and see a massive whale shark looming behind me, that's the beast that is making its own current in this ocean. The biggest fish in the sea is swimming towards me, but strangely I am not frightened or nervous. I do not want to turn away from this beauty that so few get the chance to meet. I'm educated well enough to know that it isn't after me, it doesn't wish to harm me. This incredible creature only wants it's fill of plankton and fish eggs, which are both in wide variety before me. I swim out of its way, curious to watch the whale shark's behavior. It is truly a gentle giant, although intimidating in size, it will do no harm to me. It swims by me gracefully, an odd thing for such a massive object, and continues on its long journey through the cold depths of this undiscovered ocean.
I'm stunned for a while at the pure and natural beauty that I saw before me. To see one of the most feared creatures of the sea swim past me was a thrill like I've never experienced before. I had always been a fan of sea life, but now I was in awe of all that was around me.

February 19, 2016

It's interesting how things change. How your life is the opposite of what you thought it would be only one year ago, and yet some things are exactly the same. He is exactly the same, but I've only just realized who he actually is. I used to wonder why this happened, why he turned so sour, but now I understand it was a blessing to get away. My mother always warned me, but I was oblivious to her truths. "He's really great mom, and I think I really like him." I said. She was right all along, as mothers always are, I was just too awestruck to see the evil before me. He treated me right, most of the time, and that's good enough, right? Except it isn't. Those moments, when he didn't treat me right, those are the ones that I think of when I hear his name. His memory is tainted. I was never perfect, but I was the best I could be, so why did he do this to me?

February 11, 2016

I can't go out of the house without properly saying goodbye to my family, or to bed without saying goodnight.

I can't buy something new without getting someone else's approval.

I can't go to sleep without turning on an alarm.

I can't start the week without knowing my schedule.

I can't go through the day without checking on my mother.

These are the things I can't do without.

Febuary 5, 2016

I'm comforted by the smell of coffee brewing in the morning, something I've woken up to for as long as I can remember, it's a necessity at my house. I'm comforted by my mother's hugs, and her voice saying "I love you." I'm comforted when all my homework is done and I know I can sleep without worry. I'm comforted by the sound of waves crashing in the distance, and the smell of salt tickling my nose. I'm comforted by thoughts of quiet. So whenever I'm uncomfortable, these are the things I think remember.